.jpg)
One of my friends was made redundant a few days ago after 10 years
of loyal work. They told him that it was “a hard but unavoidable choice” and to
really REALLY not take it personally. Yes that’s what people say; “work is work,
nothing personal about it. I want you to forget any form of humanity before you
enter the door of the company but here is a BlackBerry, your new partner in
life, even better than a wife, keep it close to you at all times, it will never
disturb you”. It reminds me a bit like playing sport at school; suddenly your
best friend, captain of the basketball team, turns on you when she has to
choose her team member and spits out the name of someone else. But she still
looks at you and whispers “sorry it’s not personal” and then in the space of 30
seconds you are overwhelmed by 1000 different emotions; anger, shame, guilt…and
so you smile. Smiling again…such a weird concept, everybody smiles but let’s be
honest, most of the time it’s far from an honest and frank happy look. For
example, when this guy who interviewed me last week smiled while saying
“unfortunately we don’t have any suitable opportunities for you at the moment” he
was just politely translating a kind of “no you didn’t make it today and don’t
ever think that it will be the case if you come back tomorrow!” and in adding “but I will definitely get back to you if something comes up”, it was
probably as much of a frank answer as when you meet this stunning guy at a
party and then when you ask him for his number he takes yours and says “I’ll
give you a call”…
Yes all of these are good reasons to loose motivation while job
searching but at the end of the day who are you trying to impress and satisfy?
A friend? An employer? Your parents? Or yourself? We are programmed by this
world with one goal; making our parents happy and proud (and also sometimes
making them mad but only to test their love unconsciously). Sometimes they gave
us recognition for any help, good marks or good behaviour and sometimes didn’t.
But in both cases, they made us chase it as a natural feeling nonetheless. And
as much as people can repeat that work is work and none of your colleagues are
your family, and that your boss is not your mum or dad, they are still asking
you for the same outcome; satisfy a manager and spend most of your day next to
colleagues that are, at the end of the day, still human just like you.
But in all of this there is one person that remains not heard and
that’s you. Disappointment after loosing a job or an opportunity is natural but
if you stop valuing yourself in terms of a role or organisation and start
thinking of yourself as pure value (no substantiation necessary) maybe it would
be the first step in the change you’re looking for.
Remember, nothing in the world is ever completely wrong. Even a
stopped clock is right twice a day…”
Just believe.
